IT'S JUST NOT FAIR

by
John G. Nichols

I am sure, when Adam and Eve were thrown out of the garden of Eden, they thought that it was not fair. All they did was to eat some fruit that was beautiful, was good to eat, and would make them wise. But God has His rules and when we break them we must accept the consequences. One consequence for Adam and Eve was problems in their marriage.

God’s Principles of Marriage:
God created man and women to become one when they marry. They are to compliment and be helpmates to each other. Marriage is not a contract. It is a covenant relationship. Contracts can be broken but a covenant can only be ended by death. Therefore divorce is not accepted by God. If a man divorces his wife and remarries, in God’s sight, that man has two wives. It was because of the hardness of their hearts, that God allowed the Israelites to divorce. If He had not allowed this, the men would begin killing their wives in order to marry other women. God also allowed them to have multiple wives, but this was not His original plan. There are several examples in the Old Testament of men with several wives and almost always they had problems and troubles, including Jacob, Samuel’s father, David, and Solomon.

Pharisees came to him, testing him, and saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?" He answered, "Haven't you read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall join to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?' So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don't let man tear apart."

They asked him, "Why then did Moses command us to give her a bill of divorce, and divorce her?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery." His disciples said to him, "If this is the case of the man with his wife, it is not expedient to marry." Matthew 19:3-10

Many interpret this Scripture to mean that if a person has an affair it allows the couple to divorce and some even say they must get a divorce. That is not what Jesus said! The Pharisees were getting divorces and remarrying. If that is what Jesus meant, why were the disciples so shocked? The only explanation to what Jesus said is that if a women was not a virgin when married she could be divorced. It was the custom for an agreement to be made between the man and women and their families before marriage. Usually it was a year after the agreement was made that the wedding took place. This agreement was so binding that it required a divorce if the women proved not to be a virgin. This is what Joseph was about to do when he found out that Mary was pregnant. Since divorce was common, you can see why the disciples were so shocked if this was the only reason to break the relationship between a man and women. We bring many troubles upon ourselves because we do not follow God’s book of instructions for life.

CONCERNING MARRIAGE FOR A CHRISTIAN:

Do not marry a nonchristian.

Don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness? What agreement has Christ with Belial? Or what portion has a believer with an unbeliever? 2 Corinthians 6:14,15

Don't befriend a hot-tempered man, and don't associate with one who harbors anger: lest you learn his ways, and ensnare your soul. Proverbs 22:24,25

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with a promise: "that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth." Ephesians 6:1-3

But from the beginning of the creation, 'God made them male and female. For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will join to his wife, and the two will become one flesh,' so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." In the house, his disciples asked him again about the same matter. He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife, and marries another, commits adultery against her. If a woman herself divorces her husband, and marries another, she commits adultery." Mark 10:6-12

Or don't you know, brothers (for I speak to men who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man for as long as he lives? For the woman that has a husband is bound by law to the husband while he lives, but if the husband dies, she is discharged from the law of the husband. So then if, while the husband lives, she is joined to another man, she would be called an adulteress. But if the husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is no adulteress, though she is joined to another man. Romans 7:1-3

Giving thanks always concerning all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to God, even the Father; subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it; Ephesians 5:20-25
Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Life is short and eternity is a very long time. The purpose of this short life is to prepare for eternity. Jesus promises us that we will have persecutions and troubles in this life. We must latch on to the promises of God and understand His ways. When we do this, we will see that even when things are not fair God has a purpose in them.

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God; and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if indeed we suffer with him, that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which will be revealed toward us. Romans 8:16-18
We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Sin is the reason why some events are not fair. And you are a sinner, therefor you are one of the reasons things are not fair. Life will not be fair as long as there is sin in the world. But Christ has overcome the Evil One and when we are with Him in glory all things will become perfect and complete and we will realize that the unfair things of life were only a small thing that we made too much of. Do not focus on what is not fair, but on the love of God that sent His Son to earth to die in our place.

What could be more unfair then that Jesus, who was sinless, should take your sins and punishments on Himself?

Therefore I urge you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service. Don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:1,2

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Revised June 2000. Scriptures changed to The World English Bible.
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